Relationships are hard. They’re more complicated than just finding love and having it reciprocated back to you. When you go into a relationship, it’s not easy for the history of your exes to not be in your head. However, this can hinder what could be one of the best relationships that you’ll ever have in your life with yourself or with someone else. This article will help you to understand how to stop bringing the past into your current relationship (or any new relationship).
We break up with people because we feel like they don’t fit well in our lives anymore, but we still may carry around memories and feelings about them when we move on to create new relationships. It can be easy to fall into old patterns and take on the personality qualities of our exes when trying to have new relationships. This can create problems in new relationships because we’re not taking on the personality of someone who is right for us, but rather a person that we just broke up with.
It’s not an easy task, but it’s one that can help you enter into your next relationship and take away from the experience with positive things and leave behind negative ones. It will become easier when you begin to realize how removing those thoughts from your head will benefit you in all areas of your life, especially your relationships. Let go of the past and look toward the future.
How to stop bringing your past into your current relationship?
Here are a few ways to keep that old love from still holding on to you:
- Realize that every relationship has something that you can learn from it, even if the relationship doesn’t work out in the end. Talk about the positives and negatives of your past relationships and use them as a stepping stone to create better relationships in the future.
- Evaluate what parts of your history you want to keep and what parts you just want to leave behind. Include these thoughts into your daily thoughts when they come up, like when an old boyfriend or girlfriend texts you out of the blue or when they contact you on social media. Take this time to reflect on the past and leave it behind.
- Realize that most of these past relationships are finished and over with. They’re not going to be ‘last memories’ that you’ll think about anymore. However, it still doesn’t mean that they won’t impact your current relationship in a negative way. Make sure your partner feels supported and loved in your current relationship by creating those positive feelings that you had with an ex.
- Take some time for yourself every single day, especially when there is a new relationship hang-up coming up or a problem is occurring in the relationship. Do something for yourself (not necessarily a date night), take some time to relax and clear your mind. Don’t jump into the next relationship and fall straight back into the problems that you had in your past relationships.
- Work on your relationship with yourself first, before you worry about your relationship with anyone else. Many people have a hard time changing themselves, so they don’t realize the need for change and how it would affect their current relationships if they took part in those changes. Some people think that they’re perfect and don’t need to change anything about themselves, but really, nobody is perfect. Nobody!
Remember that every moment in life is a new moment of opportunity that can bring more good into your life than bad experiences from the past ever will. Looking forward will make taking part in the good moments easier and more enjoyable. As you work to improve yourself, you’ll find that your current relationships will improve as well.
To prevent bringing in the past into your current relationship, try these tips:
- Realize that every relationship has something that you can learn from it, even if the relationship doesn’t work out in the end. Talk about the positives and negatives of your past relationships and use them as a stepping stone to create better relationships in the future.
- Evaluate what parts of your history you want to keep and what parts you just want to leave behind. Include these thoughts into your daily thoughts when they come up, like when an old boyfriend or girlfriend texts you out of the blue or when they contact you on social media. Take this time to reflect on the past and leave it behind.
- Realize that most of these past relationships are finished and over with. They’re not going to be ‘last memories’ that you’ll think about anymore. However, it still doesn’t mean that they won’t impact your current relationship in a negative way. Make sure your partner feels supported and loved in your current relationship by creating those positive feelings that you had with an ex.
- Take some time for yourself every single day, especially when there is a new relationship hang-up coming up or a problem is occurring in the relationship. Do something for yourself (not necessarily a date night), take some time to relax and clear your mind. Don’t jump into the next relationship and fall straight back into the problems that you had in your past relationships.
Work on your relationship with yourself first, before you worry about your relationship with anyone else. Many people have a hard time changing themselves, so they don’t realize the need for change and how it would affect their current relationships if they took part in those changes.